I hate finals.
It's more agonizing than getting your hair cut by government employees. Or waiting for service at the DMV. Not the part where you have to re-learn everything from the past semester (I laugh at the folks on the quarter system) but the fact that its like being in a waiting room.
Waiting rooms are the epitome of a society built on inefficiency. Its like when you're watching youtube, and you have to wait while your computer to fill its memory buffer with your video, all the while you're sitting there twiddling your thumbs to get to the next episode of "The Nanny". Or anyone of the numerous homegrown conspiracy theory "documentaries". In any case, if service was good enough, there wouldn't be a need for the buffer to exist, the data stream would literally be ported directly into your computer and translated onto the screen.
I know all you tech whizzes out there are like "well actually, when youtube streams shit to you, it actually does wait around in a buffer, its just service is faster than the play speed" and you have a point. Except it has nothing to do with my current metaphor, so take a hike.
When you're at the dentist, you just wanna get out of there as fast as possible, or at least, that's the general outlook on the practice of dentistry. Not me, i actually enjoy going to the dentist, someone gets to clean my teeth so I don't have to do it. Then again, I've never gotten bad gums, cavities, fillings, braces or anything of the sort, so I'm not exactly versed in the pains of dentistry. Except the x-ray process. It is the single most annoying experience of my life, having an x-ray backing stuck in my mouth with its slightly rounded (obviously wholesale) edges digging into the gummy crevasses meant only for edible shit. And the occasional pussy. But I suppose that can be filed under edible as well. Anyways, where was I...
Right, if it were for the Highlights, Time, and Sports Illustrated magazines in the waiting room, you'd be sweating it out, waiting for the inevitable moment that some dude with a set of picks and little mirror attached to a simple doo-hickey scrapes at the enamel lining of your teeth. And this only happens when the dentist is backed up yah? I mean, who really goes to the dentist early? I did- cause I loved the dentist that much, meant I was allowed out of the basement where my parents kept me when I wasn't at school or the shop. Kidding! But it would explain a few oddities. But really now...
If we're talking about the human aspect of doing a job, that hinks and shit comes up or something like that, isn't that the nature of the beast? That, despite your best intentions to keep a schedule, life just shits on you? Yeah man, I have no problem waiting cause of that. But is that the true reason for the existence of waiting rooms? Is this just not a positive externality?
Waiting rooms were created with the purpose of comforting the service provider that it is ok to keep someone waiting, that in the end, they will have someone to work on/with right away following their lazy servicing bums. This would be someone who isn't working as well as they can because all they are doing is buffering you, when maybe their play speed could be faster. Who knows. You're too busy getting junked by Newsweek.
Oh right, and how does this relate to finals? I just wanna be done with the semester now, let me go on a break already. It's like classes are over, yay! School's out! Oh, just kidding, you also got finals. This is my Newsweek, Highlights and Time.
In unrelated news, Gordon Brown stepped down from PM in Britain and the Conservative/Liberal-Democrat coalition buffet selection, David Cameron is taking over 10 Downing. I might get back to this later, but seeing how I'm not bringing my computer with me over my little furlough, might not be for some time. HELLLLOOOO A WEEKEND OF DEBAUCHERY, BAD DECISIONS, and MUSEUMS. Not in any particular order, nor at the same time. Fuck maybe I will bring my computer to figure out what it is exactly I'm gonna be doing this weekend. Oh right, PM Cameron, all I gotta say is, "dude. your wife has quite the nose" I definitely prefer Carla Bruni, French First Lady any day, but Samantha Cameron isn't terrible at 39 years of age, but somehow doesn't compare to Bruni who's 42. But I mean, see for yourself. And yes, I am skewing the pictures I show to with better pictures of Bruni and worse pictures of Cameron.
Bruni: http://www.glamourvanity.com/images/carla-bruni-sarkozy-cheating-on-husband.jpg
Cameron: http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/10_01/SamCameronG_468x698.jpg
(she's the one on the left mind you, dammn if she were the one on the right....)
Obviously there's no contest here, b/c everything put out by the small guy must be right compared to big corporate news.
On the other hand, you also gotta admire a woman with guns:
http://www.csmonitor.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/images/csm-photo-galleries-images/photos-of-the-day-images/2010/0421/01/7762731-1-eng-US/01_full_600.jpg
Ok fine, I'll put a more comparable picture of Cameron up
http://images.buddytv.com/articles/jennifer-morrison-house.jpg
Sorry, couldn't resist. But really now:
http://www.gabrielleteare.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Richard-James-372x600.jpg
In any case, how insignificant is Sam Cam to me? I'm not gonna label her in this post. Kidding, she's more important than that. But I'm still not tagging her.
Nor do I have a rekindled love for finals.
or, as I like to call them,
Fuck
I
Never
Actually
Learned
Shit.
or as my school likes to call them, TEE's
Term
End
Exam
How drab. But its kinda catchy, spawns TEE phrases like TEE week, TEE-rat(ion)s, its TEE time!
Fuck TEE's.
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